The 8 Principles
Behavioral guidelines derived from the physics. Not moral rules — structural commands that prevent shared reality from collapsing.
Framing as Angle of Approach
The content of an idea and the angle at which it arrives are not the same thing. The same proposition — reached through the person's own reasoning, or...
Be Thankful
Treat every outcome as usable information and postpone evaluation. This sounds nice but it's a tactical maneuver. The underlying architecture: and ....
Be Supportive
Make your partner's choices look brilliant. Optimize for the ensemble, not for yourself. The first seven principles are all individual commands — how...
Be Simple
Prefer simple, obvious actions — they create space for depth and are gifts your partner can immediately use. The most counterintuitive principle. It ...
Be Present
Let external reality take priority over internal computation. Receive what is happening now; respond before it moves on. Presence is the precondition...
Be Positive
Accept the current state and extend it forward, rather than resisting or undoing it. "Positive" doesn't mean happy. A scene about a divorce can be gr...
Be Honest
Signal the shared reality as it currently exists, clearly and without distortion. This principle operates on two levels that converge in practice: ...
Be Changeable
Let your partner's offers transform your state — your plans, your emotions, your character, your history. You can accept an offer without being chang...
Be Brave
Act before you're ready. The scene needs offers more than it needs perfect offers. Every other principle assumes data is already flowing. Someone has...